Jay left yesterday for his 8-12 month deployment to Afghanistan. I never thought it would be so hard to let him go. I truly feel as if I have been torn in half. I barely slept last night. I stayed up until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. Then, I woke up only 5 and a half hours later...well before the kids did.
Ella keeps asking for her daddy. Wondering when he's coming home. Asking if he'll be home soon. I can't answer her without crying. She keeps playing the book he recorded for her...and her Daddy Doll. Hearing his voice is so painful, and yet, I don't want to stop hearing it.
The hardest part is the lack of communication and information. Any other time he has been gone, we were able to talk every night. I got about 10 minutes on FB with him last night before he had to board his flight. Praying he is safe and well.
I just miss him so much. I haven't been able to stop crying. I feel like a horrible mother since I can't hold it together for my kids. The pregnancy hormones make it that much worse.
Praying this pregnancy flies by so can see him again for a couple of weeks.
Now...where is my Tylenol for this stress/exhaustion/dehydration headache?
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
I am the 1%...
...of pregnant women who develop Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy.
It's a mouthful. Basically, my body isn't clearing out the bile my liver is producing, which means it's being stored under my skin...causing intense and severe itching.
Got a call from my OB office today and was asked to come in because my lab results from Monday were "concerning." So, I went in and was told my LFT's (liver function tests) were normal, but my bile salts were elevated. On November 4, my bile salt levels were about 9. On Monday, they were 34. They have almost quadrupled in 2 weeks. So, my body is storing bile instead of processing and flushing it. The normal range is like 4-26. So, it's up. They prescribed me Urso-something or other, which will help flush the bile from my body...and hopefully turn me from a human scratching post back into a normal pregnant lady. Also, they will be inducing me at 39 weeks, which concerns me.
On November 4, one of the other OB's told me that if I do have cholestasis, they will be inducing me at 37-38 weeks, which is the recommended time frame for delivery when cholestasis is involved. Delivery after this time increases the risk of the baby passing meconium in utero, fetal stress, meconium inhalation and stillbirth. Now, this doctor is telling me 39 weeks because anything before that increases the risk of jaundice and poor latch. Somehow, that doesn't seem nearly as severe, in my opinion, as say...fetal death.
I'm scared and nervous. Oh, on top of that, I get to have weekly NST's to make sure James is doing well. So, this coming Monday, I have an ultrasound, NST and a group B strep test. Just a fun filled morning for sure.
Also, I'm really irritated because my dad threw his 2 cents in and basically called me a hypochondriac. He said I shouldn't listen to the doctors because nothing is wrong with me...it's all in my head. He's been saying that for years. Yes, I am a hypochondriac. I go to doctors and seek how medications that will make me crap myself silly for the next month because it's so much fun...not because this is extremely dangerous for the baby, and I'm trying to do what's best for my baby. God may heal, but He also gave us intelligence to become doctors...so, I'm trusting the doctors. Besides, test results don't lie.
I'm just so frustrated. I cried on the way home because I've been so stressed today. My BP was 140/86 today. It was 120-something/70-something on Monday. So, all this itching and lack of sleep has caused my BP to go up. I really just need a vacation....and I need for this baby to hurry up and get here...before 39 weeks.
It's a mouthful. Basically, my body isn't clearing out the bile my liver is producing, which means it's being stored under my skin...causing intense and severe itching.
Got a call from my OB office today and was asked to come in because my lab results from Monday were "concerning." So, I went in and was told my LFT's (liver function tests) were normal, but my bile salts were elevated. On November 4, my bile salt levels were about 9. On Monday, they were 34. They have almost quadrupled in 2 weeks. So, my body is storing bile instead of processing and flushing it. The normal range is like 4-26. So, it's up. They prescribed me Urso-something or other, which will help flush the bile from my body...and hopefully turn me from a human scratching post back into a normal pregnant lady. Also, they will be inducing me at 39 weeks, which concerns me.
On November 4, one of the other OB's told me that if I do have cholestasis, they will be inducing me at 37-38 weeks, which is the recommended time frame for delivery when cholestasis is involved. Delivery after this time increases the risk of the baby passing meconium in utero, fetal stress, meconium inhalation and stillbirth. Now, this doctor is telling me 39 weeks because anything before that increases the risk of jaundice and poor latch. Somehow, that doesn't seem nearly as severe, in my opinion, as say...fetal death.
I'm scared and nervous. Oh, on top of that, I get to have weekly NST's to make sure James is doing well. So, this coming Monday, I have an ultrasound, NST and a group B strep test. Just a fun filled morning for sure.
Also, I'm really irritated because my dad threw his 2 cents in and basically called me a hypochondriac. He said I shouldn't listen to the doctors because nothing is wrong with me...it's all in my head. He's been saying that for years. Yes, I am a hypochondriac. I go to doctors and seek how medications that will make me crap myself silly for the next month because it's so much fun...not because this is extremely dangerous for the baby, and I'm trying to do what's best for my baby. God may heal, but He also gave us intelligence to become doctors...so, I'm trusting the doctors. Besides, test results don't lie.
I'm just so frustrated. I cried on the way home because I've been so stressed today. My BP was 140/86 today. It was 120-something/70-something on Monday. So, all this itching and lack of sleep has caused my BP to go up. I really just need a vacation....and I need for this baby to hurry up and get here...before 39 weeks.
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