Friday, February 15, 2013

Day 3 Down...a whole lot more to go.

Well, today is over. Thank goodness. I am so happy to have been able to talk to Jay more on Facebook today. It is nice to get to chat. After the amazing 30-minute phone conversation yesterday, I feel like I can get through this. It is so amazing to be able to communicate with him again. I think I can finally get around to doing housework again instead of moping around the house. With that said, I have painting I want to start. Since we're taking up the carpet, I'm not really worried about getting paint on the carp. Makes it easier. Just have to figure out what color I want and go with it. Waiting on my flooring samples to come in so I can decide which one I want for our new floors. Thankfully, already found the rug we wanted. Hoping it works as well with the new floors as it did with the old one. Thinking about talking to my OB about help with my anxiety and sleep issues since Jay's been gone if it doesn't get better. I just can't sleep. I have been running on 5 hours of sleep these past 2 days. I can't seem to go to sleep until almost 2 am, and then I wake up at like 7. It kind of sucks. You know, I do whine a bit about this deployment. I get that. However, I am very in love with my wonderful husband. I am so blessed to have him by my side as my mate, best friend, husband, and father of my children. I promised "for better or for worse." So, I'm going to do my very best to get through this without making it difficult for my husband. I love that man with all my heart. This is just a temporary situation. Sucky, crappy, temporary situation. Hope everyone else has a great day. I plan on taking some Benedryl for my itching. Praying it's not the beginning of Cholestasis again. Maybe it will help me sleep.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Deployment Sucks

Jay left yesterday for his 8-12 month deployment to Afghanistan. I never thought it would be so hard to let him go. I truly feel as if I have been torn in half. I barely slept last night. I stayed up until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. Then, I woke up only 5 and a half hours later...well before the kids did.

Ella keeps asking for her daddy. Wondering when he's coming home. Asking if he'll be home soon. I can't answer her without crying. She keeps playing the book he recorded for her...and her Daddy Doll. Hearing his voice is so painful, and yet, I don't want to stop hearing it.

The hardest part is the lack of communication and information. Any other time he has been gone, we were able to talk every night. I got about 10 minutes on FB with him last night before he had to board his flight. Praying he is safe and well.

I just miss him so much. I haven't been able to stop crying. I feel like a horrible mother since I can't hold it together for my kids. The pregnancy hormones make it that much worse.

Praying this pregnancy flies by so can see him again for a couple of weeks.

Now...where is my Tylenol for this stress/exhaustion/dehydration headache?