Saturday, April 18, 2015

So, to Catch You Up

I can't even remember the last time I posted. Well, I am no longer a mommy of 2. I am now a mommy of 3. We had our precious "SURPRISE" baby girl, Ainsley, on July 24, 2013. I can't believe she is turning 2 in just a few months. I currently homeschool Ella and attend college as well. Working towards my degree in psychology with a minor in healthcare administration. James is the typical 3 year old little boy. He is testing his boundaries in so many ways. Anyway. That's the catch up. Now, I can get on with why I am posting. Jay and I completed the Spartan Sprint this past Saturday. That was so much fun! Then, I got the pics. I have never been more depressed than I am right now. I am so sick of looking like a hippo. I have tried eating healthy. I have tried working out. Nothing is working. I have all this loose skin and fat on my belly after having kids. I don't care about being a size 12. I care about looking so fat and rotund...and lumpy. I feel so gross these days. Having kids has destroyed my body. Everyone's like, "Be proud! You had three kids!" Just shut up. Seriously. I wish I could have that type of confidence. I don't. If I could find clothes that made me feel pretty, it might help. Everything makes me feel fat or pushes my belly skin up and out. It's not even the stretch marks. I actually LIKE my stretch marks. Those give me a sense of pride. If I could have all this loose skin and fat cut off and keep my stretch marks, I would be happy. I am just so tired of busting my butt to feel pretty. *sigh* Anyway. That's what's bothering me. Feel free to tell me to "focus on the positive." I probably won't...because all I can see when I look in the mirror is fat. Fat fat fat FAT. Tell me to "do something about it." You're probably right. I should do something about it. When? At 5am? My electrical outlets don't support my treadmill without tripping the breaker, and I can't run with my dog anymore because the neighborhood is no longer safe. "Do some workout videos!" Yeah, I tried that. I can't keep up, and then I get bored. "You're making excuses." I probably am, but it's hard to feel like this without wanting something to happen NOW. So, there you go. I'm not in the inspirational mood today.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Influenster

Don't normally do this, but I'm trying to get my Influenster account going.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

COUGAR! - W. W. Brock (My Dad!)

Hey guys. I am just promoting my father's book! The ebook copy is only $3.99 at Booklocker.com. Wildlife thriller. Big cat on the prowl in the lowcountry of SC. Main character is a former Marine - Iraq veteran. It has conspiracy, maulings, suspense, action...great book!! If you're an avid reader, please get a copy today! "COUGAR!" is now available in all Book formats(Kindle, Nook, & iPad) so anyone overseas can download it immediately from the following preferred link: BOOKLOCKER: http://booklocker.com/books/6224.html or from one of these: AMAZON: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CGTMJPW BARNES & NOBLE: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/cougar-ww-brock/1043022237?ean=2940016694382 ITUNES: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/cougar!/id639476617

25 Weeks Today

Wow. Can't believe there are just 15 weeks left to this pregnancy. I feel every kick and punch this little kung fu princess gives me. It's pretty awesome not having a placenta up front...for the most part. lol

Jay has been gone 2 and a half months now. It feels like a year. It really isn't getting any easier. Whoever said it does, lied to me. I still miss him greatly. We still have no clue when he'll be home, or if he'll make it home in time for the birth. I freaking hate this crap. I really do. I just want him home, safe, sound, in one piece.

Took the plunge, and we're getting a minivan on Friday. Always a fun time. It sucks because we had everything worked out, and now Jay wants to trade in the vehicle we still have 4 years of payments to make. Durga. So, I had to pass that along this morning. Huzzah. Haven't heard back from them yet.

Anyway. Everything is going smoothly, and not a trace of ICP this go round like I had with the last 2 babies. :) That's comforting. Sorry I haven't posted in forever. It's been really stressful around here, and to be honest...I forgot.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Day 3 Down...a whole lot more to go.

Well, today is over. Thank goodness. I am so happy to have been able to talk to Jay more on Facebook today. It is nice to get to chat. After the amazing 30-minute phone conversation yesterday, I feel like I can get through this. It is so amazing to be able to communicate with him again. I think I can finally get around to doing housework again instead of moping around the house. With that said, I have painting I want to start. Since we're taking up the carpet, I'm not really worried about getting paint on the carp. Makes it easier. Just have to figure out what color I want and go with it. Waiting on my flooring samples to come in so I can decide which one I want for our new floors. Thankfully, already found the rug we wanted. Hoping it works as well with the new floors as it did with the old one. Thinking about talking to my OB about help with my anxiety and sleep issues since Jay's been gone if it doesn't get better. I just can't sleep. I have been running on 5 hours of sleep these past 2 days. I can't seem to go to sleep until almost 2 am, and then I wake up at like 7. It kind of sucks. You know, I do whine a bit about this deployment. I get that. However, I am very in love with my wonderful husband. I am so blessed to have him by my side as my mate, best friend, husband, and father of my children. I promised "for better or for worse." So, I'm going to do my very best to get through this without making it difficult for my husband. I love that man with all my heart. This is just a temporary situation. Sucky, crappy, temporary situation. Hope everyone else has a great day. I plan on taking some Benedryl for my itching. Praying it's not the beginning of Cholestasis again. Maybe it will help me sleep.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Deployment Sucks

Jay left yesterday for his 8-12 month deployment to Afghanistan. I never thought it would be so hard to let him go. I truly feel as if I have been torn in half. I barely slept last night. I stayed up until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. Then, I woke up only 5 and a half hours later...well before the kids did.

Ella keeps asking for her daddy. Wondering when he's coming home. Asking if he'll be home soon. I can't answer her without crying. She keeps playing the book he recorded for her...and her Daddy Doll. Hearing his voice is so painful, and yet, I don't want to stop hearing it.

The hardest part is the lack of communication and information. Any other time he has been gone, we were able to talk every night. I got about 10 minutes on FB with him last night before he had to board his flight. Praying he is safe and well.

I just miss him so much. I haven't been able to stop crying. I feel like a horrible mother since I can't hold it together for my kids. The pregnancy hormones make it that much worse.

Praying this pregnancy flies by so can see him again for a couple of weeks.

Now...where is my Tylenol for this stress/exhaustion/dehydration headache?

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Best of Times

Just got a call from the OB nurse. My ultrasound measured 5 weeks and 5 days...not 5 weeks. My beta HCG levels are super high at 45,510! Right where they should be for a 6 week pregnancy. The doc is so pleased with the numbers that I don't have to have them repeated! I just have to have my ultrasound on 1/3! Talk about a Christmas miracle!! I am so happy right now!! Now...to find out my new due date.